the written

i looked over my unattended blogs just now. not that there's many of them. just a couple of pages i used to excercise my so-called talent online. one was, how do i say it? it was going through the motions. quite literal. it only mentioned the what, the when, the where and the how. never the why. sometimes it does. specially when i wrote about drew. but not so much later. actually, i wrote quite profusely in that blog. putting in every insight i have on a certain manuscript. maybe because it as the only blog i had back then. and back then, no one else i knew went blogging. then after that i went through phases i wouldn't want to relish. but still, i sat and endured reading through it all. as painful as it may seem.

the other blog, was even more painful. for it only contained narratives, stories i wrote or read, poetry, and song lyrics. it made me go back to those days. but then, i'm happier now, ain't i? am i? i'd like to believe so. somehow, not truly. but i suppose we all live carrying the demons we try to shun away everyday.

i thought of writing for those blogs again. i never truly had comments posted on those blogs because i didn't permit it. but i did recieve emails from people who've read them and had been touched or moved or pained or all of the above. but then, i suppose it's best to leave it that way. the only way time i'll probably go back to filling the lank spaces in that blog is when i go back to publishing.

and that, is even farther from where i wish to be.