i wish..

i wish i were a better writer. i wish i could somehow feel that i'm still a so-called artist. i wish i still have the passion to feed my soul with words of prose and poetry. i wish a song could still satisfy my hunger for the madness of music. i wish i could still play the canon. i wish that depression is still a way to completely understand life and the existence of pain. i wish i hadn't underestimated the world and the sinking realities it shows me everyday. i wish i had it in me to believe. i wish i were back to being the little idealistic twit who believed that life can be altered when you pursue the dream with enough passion to topple down a kingdom. i wish i was still that naive. i wish i hadn't realized that although money isn't what makes you happy, it contributes much for your welfare. i wish i don't feel like i'm failing somewhere. because this life and this world is beginning to disappoint me. and what's worse is that i'm beginning to disappoint myself.