when i actually decided that change was a good thing, it seems to have been joyous of my acceptance that it has been lavishing me with recurring changes since. they're good changes, don't get me wrong. so far, there doesn't seem to be something that wouldn't be good for me. the thing about change though, is that when it moves in this pace, it leaves behind a lot that can't keep up. and that's what i hate about it. because even if i have already accepted the fact that constant change is imperative, it doesn't change the fact that i still don't lke coping with the aftershocks. like letting go. or moving on. besides that, in the constance of change, certain things will eventually overlap. a chance to stay here. and a chance to move elsewhere. there has been a recent change at work. and it was a good one. i just finished an uptraining which deems positive results. i also had good feedbacks last week on that training consultant position i was applying for. and my class is almost done with our level 2 mandarin lessons. by next month, we're hoping to finish level 3.
the whirlwind i've caught myself into just seems to take me places. it's a little hard to keep up with myslelf. there's an effort to it, but so far, i'm dping good. except for that brief account with diarrhea, i've been okay.
but then, somehow, i still feel like that carousel. not in the sense that my life still feels redundant. but the trouble with any carnival ride is that it never seems to be enough. you get on it, then 5 minutes later it's over. and it's fine, really. it's even fun. but something always seems to be missing. and what bothers me is that when i've accepted that fact that something is missing, then do i just accept that fact that that missing part will never be found? will the rest of my life be just like this? fun, but not enough. should i just resolve to accept that i will not find everything that i'm looking for?
i've asked enough.