One thing I realized about myself is that I completely suck at work-life balance. I have no idea what it is or how to actually work it. I'm not even sure it exists. For the most part, let me just say that I doubt if it's even real. It feels like searching fr the Holy Grail. It's one of those things I'm just truly doubtful about.
I enjoy working. I enjoy the job I have and I wouldn't really be spending my weekdays at work if I didn't truly like it. Truth is, I love what I do for a living. I get this feeling that I actually have a purpose. Nothing biblical or even close. This isn't something that would answer the essence of being. It's just that some of us probably live their whole lives living a life they would trade with someone else at a drop of a hat. Or as soon as something better comes along. I'm grateful enough to realize that not all of us end up getting the lives we wanted. As Sheryl Crow so nicely put it; It's not getting what you want, It's wanting what you've got. And I like what I have. If an offer comes along that would allow me to do all the other things I've always wanted to do, I would get myself in a serious dilemma. Because right now, I like where I am and I like what I have. There are still things I'd like to get, get to achieve and get to learn. But I think that wherever I am right now is right where I'm supposed to be. And whatever I can achieve in the future, they can all happen here. I feel that at this point I don't have to go elsewhere to be satisfied.
I think I'm pretty good with work. I'm not being arrogant. I'm only saying I'm good at being efficient. That's why I like working. Because it's very linear. There's always a better way of doing something, but there's always structure to any process or procedure that you do. It's so impersonal. It does not involve unnecessary emotions. You put heart into it because nothing is ever just done mechanically. But it always goes back to business.
That's something I totally suck at in my personal life. It's difficult enough dealing with emotions. But when you add other factors like relations and owed favors, it becomes ambiguous. And I dislike ambiguity, if only for the simply reason that IT ISN'T CLEAR. I like being clear and being straightforward because I feel it's the easiest way to get to the point without having to go through unnecessary rituals. Unfortunately, though, my personal life isn't like my work. It has a lot of idealistic beliefs that may sometimes be not ideal. And people would often refuse to admit that they probably had it all wrong. Or it's difficult to accept that there's another idea out there that can be better than their own. It doesn't necessarily mean that theirs suck, it's just that someone else may have a better answer.
And maybe that's the reason why it's damned difficult for me to balance work with my life. Because my life does not really function the way my work does. I'm not out here to resolve anything. I just wanted to make sure I had it here.
I enjoy working. I enjoy the job I have and I wouldn't really be spending my weekdays at work if I didn't truly like it. Truth is, I love what I do for a living. I get this feeling that I actually have a purpose. Nothing biblical or even close. This isn't something that would answer the essence of being. It's just that some of us probably live their whole lives living a life they would trade with someone else at a drop of a hat. Or as soon as something better comes along. I'm grateful enough to realize that not all of us end up getting the lives we wanted. As Sheryl Crow so nicely put it; It's not getting what you want, It's wanting what you've got. And I like what I have. If an offer comes along that would allow me to do all the other things I've always wanted to do, I would get myself in a serious dilemma. Because right now, I like where I am and I like what I have. There are still things I'd like to get, get to achieve and get to learn. But I think that wherever I am right now is right where I'm supposed to be. And whatever I can achieve in the future, they can all happen here. I feel that at this point I don't have to go elsewhere to be satisfied.
I think I'm pretty good with work. I'm not being arrogant. I'm only saying I'm good at being efficient. That's why I like working. Because it's very linear. There's always a better way of doing something, but there's always structure to any process or procedure that you do. It's so impersonal. It does not involve unnecessary emotions. You put heart into it because nothing is ever just done mechanically. But it always goes back to business.
That's something I totally suck at in my personal life. It's difficult enough dealing with emotions. But when you add other factors like relations and owed favors, it becomes ambiguous. And I dislike ambiguity, if only for the simply reason that IT ISN'T CLEAR. I like being clear and being straightforward because I feel it's the easiest way to get to the point without having to go through unnecessary rituals. Unfortunately, though, my personal life isn't like my work. It has a lot of idealistic beliefs that may sometimes be not ideal. And people would often refuse to admit that they probably had it all wrong. Or it's difficult to accept that there's another idea out there that can be better than their own. It doesn't necessarily mean that theirs suck, it's just that someone else may have a better answer.
And maybe that's the reason why it's damned difficult for me to balance work with my life. Because my life does not really function the way my work does. I'm not out here to resolve anything. I just wanted to make sure I had it here.
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