it's that time of the year when you start going through what you did and how much you've fared. that time of the year when you start thinking if you've been better than the last or you kind of found a way to really blow it this time. december is that time of the year for me. as much as it is a time to really celebrate christmas (which, i have to say, i have found complete faith in again), it's also the last month of the year. i don't know why i keep on doing self-assessments during this time. i don't truly believe everyone does. not anymore, at least. i guess i just like summing up my existence. like every year has an entry that says "my life...so far." cheesy, i know.
so how was this year for me? extreme would be an interesting word to use. this year never plowed middle ground. i was either way above the clouds or sinking deep into the pits, bleeding gloriously while at it. i changed plans, got a new job, got promoted, lost my dad, decided to get a tattoo (i'm still trying to get around doing that - without my mom finding out!), learned some new things, tripped a bit, drowned a little, redeemed myself eventually, nothing was just half-cut. there were a lot of fascinating things i've learned about myself. like i can pretend to be naive and get away with it. comes in handy sometimes. can't do it very often, though. or i'll end up looking like a witless troll.
i've also cut my hair so many times, i've probably covered all hairstyles. i got brave and took a boy cut. i never regretted it. i kinda miss it now that it's actually growing, actually. i've also met a lot of fascinating people. real characters. most of them from work. since my life revolves so much around it. my priorities have changed, as well. i'm not after immediate gratification now. i'm actually looking at things to invest in. maybe i am getting smarter. i still have to curb that impulsive shoe buyer in me, though.
repeat after me: i have enough shoes as it is. i don't need any more.
boy, i'm such a horrible liar.
memorable, would also be one word i'd use to describe this year. i had a lot of good memories. the kind you look back to and smile about. maybe even laugh about. and some, cry about. it was just a rollercoaster of emotion. one day you smile a lot, the next you cry a lot, the day after you laugh a lot. that just made me sound like a total lunatic. but i truly felt such a gamut of emotions this year, it kind of surpasses all my depression era. but when i was depressed, all i felt was sadness, so that truly doesn't compare, right? i'm digressing.
the best word to truly describe this year for me, though, is blessed. despite of and inspite of the worst things that happened to me this year, i have never felt more blessed. even during the pitfall moments of this year, there was always something that made me realize i had it better than most. so i really do not have the right to complain. i know i have this tendency to be truly selfish. but what kind of self-centered witch am i if i decided to dwell into the few things that made me cry a bit, instead of the pretty swell things i was handed over? there are other people out there who have the right to rant. i'm not one of them.
every year, i just sound less and less the kind of person i thought i was. this year is no different. i don't know if optimism is part of getting old, or it's just me. but i'm happy this way. i'm happy with what i have and truly grateful for everything i was given. i don't know what i did to deserve this, but i'm really thankful. yeah, there are parts of my existence that isn't exactly pleasant, but i firmyl believe that you just have to do what you gotta do and live with what you have. sooner or later, you'll realize that life just gets better.
so how was this year for me? extreme would be an interesting word to use. this year never plowed middle ground. i was either way above the clouds or sinking deep into the pits, bleeding gloriously while at it. i changed plans, got a new job, got promoted, lost my dad, decided to get a tattoo (i'm still trying to get around doing that - without my mom finding out!), learned some new things, tripped a bit, drowned a little, redeemed myself eventually, nothing was just half-cut. there were a lot of fascinating things i've learned about myself. like i can pretend to be naive and get away with it. comes in handy sometimes. can't do it very often, though. or i'll end up looking like a witless troll.
i've also cut my hair so many times, i've probably covered all hairstyles. i got brave and took a boy cut. i never regretted it. i kinda miss it now that it's actually growing, actually. i've also met a lot of fascinating people. real characters. most of them from work. since my life revolves so much around it. my priorities have changed, as well. i'm not after immediate gratification now. i'm actually looking at things to invest in. maybe i am getting smarter. i still have to curb that impulsive shoe buyer in me, though.
repeat after me: i have enough shoes as it is. i don't need any more.
boy, i'm such a horrible liar.
memorable, would also be one word i'd use to describe this year. i had a lot of good memories. the kind you look back to and smile about. maybe even laugh about. and some, cry about. it was just a rollercoaster of emotion. one day you smile a lot, the next you cry a lot, the day after you laugh a lot. that just made me sound like a total lunatic. but i truly felt such a gamut of emotions this year, it kind of surpasses all my depression era. but when i was depressed, all i felt was sadness, so that truly doesn't compare, right? i'm digressing.
the best word to truly describe this year for me, though, is blessed. despite of and inspite of the worst things that happened to me this year, i have never felt more blessed. even during the pitfall moments of this year, there was always something that made me realize i had it better than most. so i really do not have the right to complain. i know i have this tendency to be truly selfish. but what kind of self-centered witch am i if i decided to dwell into the few things that made me cry a bit, instead of the pretty swell things i was handed over? there are other people out there who have the right to rant. i'm not one of them.
every year, i just sound less and less the kind of person i thought i was. this year is no different. i don't know if optimism is part of getting old, or it's just me. but i'm happy this way. i'm happy with what i have and truly grateful for everything i was given. i don't know what i did to deserve this, but i'm really thankful. yeah, there are parts of my existence that isn't exactly pleasant, but i firmyl believe that you just have to do what you gotta do and live with what you have. sooner or later, you'll realize that life just gets better.
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