almost 22

how soon can that get? i never realized i'd be 22 so soon. some things changed and some things just plain stuck the same way as they always did. like a chameleon refusing to change it's color. i have wondered what have become of me at 21. i spent another year at work. traveled some dea. okay, traveled a great deal. a great deal considering the paltry earnings i recieve. i have dwindled doing music though. and has even been less active as a writer. in terms of my craft, i haven't been much of a product. but i have been a living life through the brocade and not sitting in my room writing all the yearnings and reasearch that would create my masterpiece.

so i was saying that i've been trying to gain insight based on real-life experiences. or rather, i have been using it as an excuse so no one would actually say i've given up on my craft. i haven't. sometimes, i feel like i do, but i haven't. i can't do it much as it would have been very convenient. it's like denouncing family and faith. or betraying a friend. i can't do it. so what else have become of me the last year i spent being 21?

revived my nearly dying passion for live gigs. the discovery of saguijo was like finding an oasis. water for my parched soul. considering that since i started work, my shift deprived me of a chance to go out on nucturnal haunts for good music, good food, good drinks and good company. so realizing that a house that was converted into one of the best gig spots in the metro is just some blocks away from the office is God's message to me that he supports my passion for good music, good food, good drinks and good company.

i traveled farther than i expected to. when i started working, i had hoped to travel to some part of this archipelago i live in. i actually did more than that. i went past the archipelago. and i even walked on mainland china. and with that visit came the resolve that iam moving overseas. not because i really have to. i just really want the change. so i decided i had to see more of this country before i leave it for a long time. and i'm proud to have gone bast luzon even if it was only for a little over 24 hours. and i do hope to improving that statistic within the next year.

i tried getting myself into lessons. but the farthest i got was inquiring. early this year i made bad on my promise to start wushu. the only lesson i know of happens to be two hours away from me. and i wouldn't waste those two hours for about three hours of practice. that would be four hours back and forth. the odds are still against it. last month, i was out looking for language lessons. bcause as far as i know, language has always been a fascination to me. any form or shape it takes is something i am completely compelled towards. i figured cantonese would help me in macau. but the only outfit that teaches them offers lessons for 12ooo/30 hours. no siree. not this one. i opted for the japanese lessons. but then i realized that i'll be loaning a rather huge amount of money to get a macbook pro. hmm.. looks like any money i shell out in the future would have to go to the laptop.

i cleared my stats at work. it must be somethign to be proud of. but then, i'm not running for promotion. so what's the use other than it pays well? not really as well as i would have liked it to, but it got me going through the grind.

i got confined. yes. the findings were laughable. who actually gets confined because they were so hungry they fainted? no one. except me. but then i got my wish.

other than that, i can't really say i have been very productive. was it a year wasted then? absolutely not.